We’ve taken it outside  since this weekend. Is there anything as wonderful as happy children on a warm March day?

We’re cleaning up the inside. Warm weather also means shredding though the Winter pileup and making room to breathe. Hello, new vacuum. (It’s a Miele Titan!) Hello, less stuff.

We’re cleaning up our act. Noah is now getting more one on one and less one on TV. Today that translated to 100 pages of reading to him. We started with Little House in the Big Woods (20 pages), moved to The Borrowers (20 pages), read some Eloise, then a whole lotta Maisy. Yesterday was 50 pages out of Snot Stew, lots more Maisy and anything else that fell under Noah’s eye. Added benefit: G is now crazy for reading. We spend 15-20 minutes looking at Peek-a-Boo, First Words and a truck book with sliding doors pre-nap daily.

Is there a downside to all this? As usual, my writing is the first thing to go. I have confidence it will come back. Nathan and I are working toward a weekend schedule that affords me a 3 hour time block. My photography also suffers, but as we approach long walks outdoors, that can’t be expected to suffer long. I am getting to read to myself a bit here and there. I just finished One Amazing Thing by Divakaruni (thanks MIL!) and loved it. Highly recommended. I’m currently in the middle of Oliver Twist. Can you believe I’ve never read Dickens before? I have a rather hopeful pile of library books in addition to the nonfiction stacked around the house that I leaf through when I get to stand still.

But . . . we are also cleaning up our bodies. Nathan started P90X 2 months ago. I joined him for the second month and intend to continue through the third. Last night, I snapped at Noah for something. Nathan was like, “Why are you getting mad? He’s always difficult . . .” I was going to say, “Because it hurts!” Then  I straightened up and realized my back didn’t hurt AT ALL. When did that happen? More exercise means more energy which means more time in a day to do whatever it is I want to do. Yay!

So there it is in all it’s jarring, choppy glory–an update. We are alive. We are well. We are happy as we try new things and challenge ourselves. For all of this, thank God.

We spent the weekend with our family in the Indianapolis area. My uncle and his family were in town. It was great to catch up, especially since we see them every 8 years or so. My cousins were grown, one a handsome young man looking at colleges. The other two are bright women with families of their own.

It’s nice to renew ties and catch up. At this moment, it’s even nicer to be home. Our grocery shopping is finished. Whole wheat pizza dough is being mixed in the bread machine. I’m really looking forward to a week of on-schedule home-cooked meals. I’m also enjoying that our TV “doesn’t work”. As in, I turned off the power strip. I intend that this week be a low key chance to detox.

While G has already snapped back into the home routine, it takes N several days to transition. He’s just an amped up kind of kid, evidenced by the meltdown that began as soon as we walked in the door yesterday evening. It didn’t end until he was asleep (he skipped out of his bed and landed in ours as soon as Nathan and I headed downstairs). It usually takes him the full week to adjust after an overnight at my mom’s house. 3 days after some time with my in-laws (they’re much quieter with WAY less stuff to stimulate him) depending on how much TV he’s watched. I expect that after an extended schedule-to-the-wind day like Saturday, we’ll see some residual stress this weekend. Sometimes he surprises us though. And zero TV for a few days is a great way to help him reset.

The meals I’m looking forward to:

Whole Wheat Pizza with Garlic Butter and Spinach

Samke bi Fourn with Sweet Potatoes

Tofu Stir Fry with Brown Rice

Biryani Spiced Beef over Bulgur (flies in the face of everything you know, right?) and Veggies

Lebanese Chicken with Brown Rice and Veggies

Moroccan Lentil Soup with Whole Wheat Bread (mm starch)

Veggie Burgers/ Turkey BLTs for the boys (BLTs will end up as bacon and hot cereal lol)

Rye Pretzels!!!

I’ve noticed that each week since we’ve switched to whole grains and high veg, I’m getting further through it before we need that restaurant meal. This week I planned 7 days without realizing, and my grocery bill was still around $115 for the week! The less we eat out, the less we want to, and the easier it is to cook at home.

It will be quiet here this week. My writing is done on stolen time. If I do  any other posts, they’ll happen on my other blog.

Happy end of February! Oh, and happy birthday to Grammie the Great (23rd), Big Sis (25th) and Dad-in-Law (28th).

That’s why I wait to introduce myself as Muslim until I’ve already established with a potential new friend that 1) I am not crazy and 2) they are someone I think I’ll actually want to be friends with. Some people don’t find out about my faith until we’ve known each other for months. Some don’t find out for days. Others, hours. If it’s only been hours, there’s a good chance I think you’re a person who will be frightened by my belief system and I want to take that step back before it gets to that awkward point where you feel compelled to keep talking to me in order to be polite. If it’s been months, I like you, but not enough to open my heart. Most likely, I don’t trust that you won’t try to convert me. Don’t be offended. I get that a lot.

Why come out, anyway? Well, it’s a Christian country. Religious “freedom” aside, many people don’t take kindly to other cultures and especially other religions. I know. I lived in a religious vacuum for six years. I was surrounded by people who tried to save me daily. I’m pretty sure there were community pow-wows regarding “what to do” about my family. Yarr.

As a general rule, I wait until the second meeting. I did that last week. I came out as Muslim toward the end of a playdate. The woman I told completely took me by surprise by exclaiming, “I love the call to prayer!” She then proceeded to tell me how beautiful she thinks it is and that she downloads it online just to listen to on her own. Dude. That’s awesome. I was able to let go of worry about my religious identity. In fact, I’m not even sure I made it clear that I’m Muslim. The context of the conversation was more about taking Noah to see my husband at the Friday prayer.

So, when do you come out? I’m really curious if others have a similar experience. You know, those of you who don’t wear hijab, or even if you do, how you approach your beliefs when they may well cut off that tenuous tie.

“Ox.”

I said, “Socks.”

“S-ox.” He smiled.

“Socks.”

“Sshocks.” Moving on. He pointed to the next picture. “Soo.”

“Shoes.”

“Sooze.” He skipped to the middle of the book. “Appee.”

“Apple.”

“App-poo.”

“Apple,” I repeated.

He watched my mouth and tried to mimick the movement, “App-pull.” Not truly an “l,” but close.

“Yes! Apple.”

“Appee, appee, app-pull!” Next picture. “Anch.”

“Orange.”

“Oh-anch! App-pull! Ssshocks. Sooos! Appeee! Bee-ya?”

I laughed with his excitement. “Banana?”

“Es. Bee-ya? Bee-a-ya?”

“Ba-na-na.”

“Bee-a-ya.” Satisfied, he flipped to a new page, glanced at the picture of a cat and said, “Bee-ow.” Then he shut the book and we were off to something else.

Not long ago I posted that there was a hole in my life where a good book should be. Be careful what you wish for. I now have little stacks of books everywhere. Still, I am going to ask you, what beginning gardening book do you recommend for suburban gardens?

Here’s what’s in my stacks:

Fertility, Cycles & Nutrition by Marilyn M. Shannon (thanks Megan!)–A great read for those reached by this post. It carefully examines natural solutions for fertility problems.

Charles and Emma by Deborah Heiligman (thanks MIL!)–A look at the family life of Charles and Emma Darwin. So excited for this. Supposedly it’s YA lit. Plan to read it and later use it for home learning.

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenburg– Yes, again. I need a review of this considerate style of communication. And while I’m at it, I need to look into the chivalrous ways of the Prophets Muhammad and Jesus. Why settle for any example but the best? And since we have historical documentation . . .

Lit by Mary Karr (thanks again, MIL!)–A memoir that promises to be funny, lyrical and juicy.

The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine N. Aron–Ran across this on The Organic Sister’s blog. Piqued my interests.

How Children Learn by John Holt–To satisfy my homeschooling sweet tooth. Funny story about this one: I met a mom at the library with an oversized 3.5 year old. He and Noah started playing like they’d been BFFs since birth. It turns out the mother had her son in preschool, but due to the same manifestations of stress that Noah had, pulled him out after three months. She proceeded to tell me that she and her husband were okay with that. They’d talked about homeschooling and knew that was the way they wanted to go. We started to talk styles of home learning and books. As the conversation progressed, it became apparent we have very similar reading interests. She said she’d wanted to finish How Children Learn, but she had to return it to the library because someone else had requested it. You guessed it: that person was me. I went upstairs to grab it before heading home. We followed up this conversation with a playdate the next day. Small world.

One Amazing Thing by Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni–Hooray, ethnic lit. Hooray for Fiction!

Playful Parenting by Lawrence Cohen–Also saw this on The Organic Sister’s blog and so far it is life-changing. Noah and I have never had more fun together. We’re finding that place where every day is the best day ever because we understand and trust each other. For example, did you know that when Noah hits and kicks, etc., it’s because he’s a bad monster that needs to be kissed and hugged? I didn’t, but now that I’ve uncovered this truth, I’m getting hit a lot less because Noah trusts that I’m not going to be angry at him for whatever he’s feeling and no longer needs to express it through emotionally defensive violence. It requires more energy and attention from me, but that’s a small price to pay when it’s rewarded with smiles on my child’s face. Squee!

Elyon by Ted Dekker–I don’t actually have this yet. It’s the last in the Lost Books series, but when I get it, I shall devour. Very excited to finish this part of the series.

But our friends and family wouldn’t let a birthday go by uncelebrated, so my in-laws visited on Fever Day 2. We had presents and cake. The following Friday, Noah’s best friends threw him a surprise party at their playdate. Cupcakes and presents. Over the weekend, we made that trip to Indianapolis and did cake, presents and games at Chuck E. Cheese. This weekend, on Valentine’s Day, we’ll have that swimming party. Happy birthday to Noah!

I find all of this terribly amusing. We’d scheduled the Y party specifically to avoid the two week birthday. Still, this has worked out for the best. Noah had no trouble transitioning to Four. He told me today he hated being Three. He’s even started getting himself up at night to use the potty!

Yesterday, we spent an hour or so picking out books at Borders for Noah to buy with his birthday money. He chose this book, which made me happier than I can express. I love when he picks out learning books, and we have had great fun with what Noah calls “the tool book” by the same author/illustrator, as well as a book about mosques Noah loves to look at when we pull out his mosque building block set. I actually had him put his first choice back when I saw it was $12 less on Amazon. I told him Mommy and Daddy would order it for him online (we did) because it was a special book (meaning if we had seen it before we bought his birthday gifts, it’s the gift we would have gotten him). We waded through the toys (what’s the deal with the Kids’ books section being 3/4 toys in Borders? WTH?), to the classics on the back wall. Noah chose:

There’s No Such Thing as Dragons by Jack Kent

The Little Island by Margaret Wise Brown

Harold and the Purple Crayon by Crockett Johnson

Where the Wild Things Are by Maurice Sendack

The Snowman (WOW!!!) by Raymond Briggs

and Whistle for Willie by Ezra Jack Keats

They cost him all but $3 of his birthday money, but he didn’t bat an eyelash. I guess it’s okay with me if he invests in his own children’s library!

G has also enjoyed the festivities, even though they always keep him up through nap time. Right now he’s sleeping away. Indulge me–it was wonderful looking at a book with him in his rocker. He touched all the pages and asked, “Book? Book?” when I put the book away. Then he snuggled against me and put his head under his blankie. He fell asleep so fast I was surprised by his snores. It was just as well. Noah was waiting patiently for his own special Mommy time.

I have a reading list as tall as I am. I want to post more about that. I’ll put up a list of the books tomorrow. If anyone’s still reading, let me know if you’ve read these books, what you think, and if you have any suggestions. In the meantime, please read “Saying Goodbye to Yang,” by friend and fellow writer Alexander Weinstein. It’s up on The Spire now. Don’t forget to leave a comment. Writers love feedback!

There was a skunk and it got into our house. It was out of stinky stuff. It had chocolate milk in it’s sprayer. It sprayed some chocolate milk into my mouth. It didn’t taste good. No, it didn’t. But it was a nice skunk. But then all of the other skunks came into our house. They were the skunk’s friends. They had stinky stuff.

Hmm.

In other news, yesterday was Noah’s fourth birthday! We had donuts, went to the library, and tried geocaching. Noah loves geocaching treasure hunting. On our way out in the morning, we drove past a dead skunk. I suspect that combined with the excitement of an amazing day led to the above.

We put a lot of hope in the Montessori method, preparing ourselves mentally for a huge financial sacrifice if the school turned out to fit Noah’s learning needs. When it didn’t, I was crushed. I really wanted to see Noah thrive. Once I accepted that he was withering instead, I got over it and embraced our original goal: homeschooling.

What I’d really like to do is unschool Noah, and we are currently in the deschooling process. I think it will take a long time to free Noah from the trauma of having been to school. Fortunately, Montessori teaches children to uncover and pursue their own interests through repetition and extension of focus. At this point, it’s all about finding a balance between home and television–it’s easy to rely on a TV when your child doesn’t read on his own yet and is generally cranky in the afternoons.

If you are interested in learning more about unschooling and what a typical day and week would look like, read this article. Read the comments as well–you’ll see what I’m referring to above. Take some time to peruse the site, Family Hack , as well. When I come across resources and articles like these, I’m only more excited to be a homeschooler.